Loss

Today I found out that one of my friends from high school passed away in a car accident on Sunday along with her husband and 2 small boys. (There are articles about the accident here and here.) As I read the email I was in total shock. At first it didn't even register who it was because they were primarily using her married name. We were friends all throughout elementary and high school. I grew up in a small town. There were only 70 kids in our graduating class. Very few people moved into or out of our neighborhood so the kids that you started kindergarten with were the kids you graduated with. Connie and I played flute together in band, we were in 4H and Girl Scouts together and once we hit junior high our lockers were right near each other for the next 6 years. The lockers were assigned alphabetically, her last name was Shea, mine was Speed. She was one of the sweetest, kindest people I've ever known. She had the loveliest disposition.

I sat in our darkened bedroom nursing Jenna as the news started to sink in. It was quiet and I was still and it gave me time to grieve. I searched my mind for memories of Connie, which were all very fond. As I wept I thought of her family and the immense sorrow that they must be experiencing. They lost their daughter, son-in-law and 2 grandsons all at one time, in the prime of their lives. I wept and grieved for a mere moment for the one friend that I haven't seen in 15 years, they will weep and grieve for the rest of their lives for the 4 family members that they saw on a daily basis. I pray for comfort and peace for the Boyce/Shea families. May they find comfort in their memories, in each other and in the memories that others can share with them.

This has reminded me to hold on tightly to those that I love. I snuggled Ian a little harder, gazed at Jenna a little more and appreciated Trevor for all that he is. It also reminded me to continue to create memories with those that I hold dear. Because really, when it's all said and done and those that you love are gone the memories are all that you have left. I spent a wonderful evening with 3 of my close girlfriends eating dinner and sharing our lives together. It's so easy to get caught up in the every day hustle and bustle and forget about those that you love the most. I've learned to make time for my friends because if you don't intentionally carve out that time you'll never get it.

This Thanksgiving will be the first holiday without Great Grandpa Peterson. There's a big hole in our hearts. I especially think of him when I look at our kids. He absolutely adored Ian - #9 as he liked to call him. (Because of his initials - IX.) I was pregnant with Jenna when Grandpa passed away. I know that he would've loved to meet her as well. I wonder what nickname he would've come up with for her! Probably something to do with her initials. He will be sorely missed this holiday season. It'll be good to be with family next week. We may all individually miss him, but collectively we can remember him and grieve together in those memories.